Blogging is Hazardous to Your Health

Today is a weird day. I got plenty of sleep, maybe too much, but woke up feeling out of sorts, and not so great physically. I walked right past the treadmill, then spent most of the morning wasting time on the computer. Finally, just after noon, more than five hours after awakening, after more than five hours of mental agony, of fighting with myself, of my evil self telling me why I didn't have to walk and my good self telling me why I had to, I got on the treadmill and walked.

Thank God.

The only thing I have changed since my attitude went south is...I started this blog. That's the only explanation for my loss of motivation.

I love writing. I write every day. But somehow, the pleasure I get from writing this blog has superseded the pleasure I was getting from walking everyday. I was so proud of myself for walking and not missing a day of my program. So why can't I be proud of myself for more than one thing at a time?

The important thing is...I walked. I didn't want to. I am tired, I am sore, I have a lousy, "So what?" attitude going, but I walked. That's a big deal for me. I beat back my evil self. But I haven't done much of anything else. I haven't washed dishes or clothes, I haven't clean up the house, I haven't worked on any of my writing deadlines, because I am using all of my physical and psychological energy fighting myself. I am, for once in my life, winning.

I walked today.