Thursday, July 31, 2008

Starting All Over Again...Again

Oh, I am so tired of all this, but I have decided, yet again, that I really MUST get up off my tush and do something about my weight, or risk turning into a human blob. I don't want to be like that poor woman in Florida who was so fat she couldn't get up from the sofa, and after three years, she finally grew INTO the sofa and they had to send the whole damn fire department to cut her loose. And then she died anyway.

Okay, so I don't weigh 800 pounds, but I do weigh 204 pounds and I should only weigh 150 pounds. So I am carrying around an extra 54 pounds that makes everything about my life more difficult. My hips and knees and ankles hurt from lugging around all the excess flesh, and no matter how hard I try, I can't get used to the looks of revulsion on the faces of men I see out in public. I'm not hideous to look at, but apparently my fat is, and it terrifies men. Why fat women should be more terrifying to normal-sized men than fat men are to normal-sized women is a topic for another day. I guess I am the living embodiment of that old cliché..."oh, she's got a pretty face...if only she wasn''t SO FAT!!!"

I am tired of being SO FAT!!! So, probably inspired by watching too much of the Tour de France this month, I have decided to get juiced. No, I am not taking performance enhancing drugs...I am going to start juicy-juicing. I bought a juicer, and lots of fresh organic fruit and veggies, and I am going to "get juiced." Supposedly juicing flushes all the toxins out of your liver that keep you from losing weight. Doesn't sound any less plausible than any of the other diet plans I've read about, so I might as well give it a try.

I have also totally given up Coca-Cola again...hah! I claim this time it will stick, but all my so-called friends have bets on how long I will last.

Anyway, I am pleased to note that whereas I started my last effort at 206 pounds, this time I am starting from 204 pounds. So the last little vestiges of the few pitiful pounds I lost by exercising like a maniac last fall are still hanging on.

Anyway, this big event starts on Monday, so tune in then for my first update.

Planet Fat Cat