Tuesday, September 14, 2010

They Don't Call it the "Alli Ooops" for Nothing!

So a few weeks ago I posted that I had intended to begin blogging again about my weight issues (and this time, I MEAN it!)... and then promptly disappeared. Not to be rude, but shame on you, the public, for thinking I meant it when I said I meant it. Really, as with most things, it's your fault, and it's about time y'all start taking responsibility for your actions.

Now that you've apologized, we can get on with setting a baseline.

I am currently a very svelte and muscular 220.5 pounds and change (we can believe in). And when I say "svelte", I mean "rotund". "Muscular" is also a very liberal definition unless it has recently come to mean "weaker than a new-born faun". But naturally age and some modest (for a hibernating grizzly) weight gain hasn't detracted from my overwhelming natural charm.

If by "charm" you mean "light nervous sweat odor".

But why get caught up in definitions? Is this a wiki? No, this blog is a place to find out what works and what doesn't in weight loss.

Sadly, I only know about the "what doesn't".

Oh well. That still has some value, especially when I tell you NEVER TO EVER TAKE ALLI PILLS EVER IN YOUR LIFE.

I could say why, but my mother told me not to talk about diet pills that make you mildly incontinent... in public... at work... TWICE.

You have been warned.