Longtime readers (I'm not going to do the easy joke here...) know that I have tried almost everything to budge the fat cells from my rear end, with little success to show for my efforts. Now, the Lone Star State has finally figured out a way to get rid of my ass for good.
As a freelance writer and reporter, I am always surfing the net looking for potential gigs. I have registered on many job sites, and posted my resume on many more. So Texas, in its wisdom, sent me a real doozy of a job last week...combat videographer in Iraq.
Boo-yah! There you go! Never mind that I'm a 59-year-old, overweight, out-of-shape woman, never mind that I have never operated a video camera in my life. My resume includes the word "reporter" and the job description included the phrase "battlefield reporter," so in the eyes of the computer, it was a match! Not necessarily one made in heaven, but a match nonetheless.
Not to seem ungrateful or anything, but I passed. I know, I know. The first surefire way to get rid of my ass in history and I lift my nose at it! I must really want to stay fat. That's all I can conclude. Or maybe I just really want to stay alive and NOT have my ass blown to kingdom come.
Okay, here's the real scoop: I think I would have had a hell of a time trying to operate a 40-pound video camera from beneath my burka.
Planet Fat Cat
Firmly planted in Southwestern North America
Where being fat is fun...kinda sort of
Struggling with your weight? Tried every diet, exercise program, gimmick, pill, machine, and fad in existence and still nothing?
We feel your pain. Join us at Fat-Chat as we try to do the impossible, lose weight the good old-fashioned way, through lots of hard work, sweat and a modicum of healthy eating.
And, oh yes, we plan to have a good time while we're at it.
We feel your pain. Join us at Fat-Chat as we try to do the impossible, lose weight the good old-fashioned way, through lots of hard work, sweat and a modicum of healthy eating.
And, oh yes, we plan to have a good time while we're at it.
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